They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
