I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize