Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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