I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
