I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
