I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
