just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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