i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
