You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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