you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
