I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i came on her dog
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize