The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
