Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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