Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
