woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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