I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
