my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
