why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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