I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
