Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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