she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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