Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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