she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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