Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
