Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
