Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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