Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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