he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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