how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
