just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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