I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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