My brain says no but my pants say off.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
