just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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