wrigley field is MILF paradise
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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