I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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