I love black thongs
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize