Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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