Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
