hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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