Don't you send me to vm
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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