Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
