hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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