You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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