Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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