My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize