And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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