He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
