so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
