where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Randomize
