So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
