Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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