Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
