420 ftw
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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