I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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