do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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