Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
