I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize