Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
