everyone is single if you try hard enough
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
