who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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