Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
