I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
