I want to make a zoo with you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
