The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
