If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
