I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
