Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
