I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
