4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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