Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We got so high we made milksteak
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.